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Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW After decades of being a therapist and lover of self-help books, I've come to realize that red flags usually appear fairly early on in failed relationships. For instance, most couples report that their relationship problems didn't surface...
By Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT Codependency is sneaky and powerful. You may not be aware that it’s the root cause of your problems. Focusing thinking and behavior around someone else is a sign of codependency. We react to something external, rather than our own internal...
Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW Recently, there has been a gush of articles in the media about a common problem in romantic relationships: mistrust between partners that erodes positive feelings and love. While it’s not uncommon for people to worry that their partner has...
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC It’s that time of year again when all mothers feel the connection with their children. Often they reflect and wonder whether they are being the best they can be for the kids they love. Since none of us are perfect, Mother’s Day can be a highly...
Letting go is hard. Damned hard. I first learned this as a young child, exploring my grandmother's basement, packed to the ceiling with carefully labeled and organized items as though she was preparing to seek refuge from the apocalypse. Which, in many ways, she was....
Projection is a defense mechanism commonly used by abusers, including people with narcissistic or borderline personality disorder and addicts. Basically, they say, “It’s not me, it’s you!” When we project, we’re defending ourselves against unconscious impulses or...
By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW According to author Gary Chapman, couples will communicate more effectively and feel happier if they gain insight into their primary way of desiring expressions of love. They can also ask their partner to demonstrate love in this fashion....
By Kristin M. Davin, Psy.D. Divorce is a game changer in a child’s life. That we know. It creates significant physical, emotional, financial, and psychological changes. Feelings of loss and separation abound. Sadness and pain of the breakup of their family unit, the...
By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW While it’s admirable to be a caring person, learning to accept and respect myself has helped me to set healthy boundaries and to say “no” without feeling guilty. For instance, I used to take on too much responsibility at work because I...
By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW During counseling sessions couples often ask me some version of this important question: How can we get back on track after a disagreement and build a strong relationship that lasts a lifetime? Typically, I explain that conflict is an...
Daughters of Divorce
Chapter Excerpts
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