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Healing Trauma Through Relationships

Healing Trauma Through Relationships

By Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT Relationships offer a path to heal our trauma through divine alchemy. Alchemy is the ancient mystical art of transmuting base metals into gold, and is a metaphor for intimate relationships. Divine alchemy refers to the transformation of...

How to Beat the Odds and Succeed at Remarriage

How to Beat the Odds and Succeed at Remarriage

By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW While a second (or third) marriage can be exhilarating and seen as a second chance at happiness, it’s important to prepare for the challenges if you want to be successful. Blending children and/or family members coming from two different...

6 Tips For Introducing A New Partner to Your Kids Post-Divorce

6 Tips For Introducing A New Partner to Your Kids Post-Divorce

Terry Gaspard MSW, LICSW One of the frequent questions that divorced clients ask me is “What is the right time to introduce my new love interest to my child after my divorce? First of all, I would take it slow when dating after divorce and not introduce your love...

8 Ways to Foster Admiration and Friendship With Your Partner

8 Ways to Foster Admiration and Friendship With Your Partner

By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW  While every relationship is unique, clients often ask me to explain the qualities that make a relationship last. My response is usually that it’s defined by admiration and friendship. To admire someone means that you approve of the way...

Putting An End to the Cycle of Shame After Divorce

Putting An End to the Cycle of Shame After Divorce

By Terry Gaspard, LICSW Sitting on the couch in my office, Alicia looks pensive as she says, “I grew up feeling ashamed of my parents’ divorce and somehow believed I caused it because I wasn’t a good enough kid. Plus, my mom would often tell me that I reminded her of...

How to Overcome Fear of Abandonment

How to Overcome Fear of Abandonment

By Terry Gaspard, LICSW Suzanne, 35, sat on the couch in my office and described her fear of being left by her partner, Devon, age 38. Although they’ve been together for five years (and lived together four years) she continues to feel insecure in their relationship....

How to Recover From Arguments With Your Partner

How to Recover From Arguments With Your Partner

By Terry Gaspard, LICSW In the beginning of their relationship, Kate, 42, and Evan, 44, were so elated to have discovered each other that they focused more on their similarities than differences. They fell wildly in love, got married quickly, and never discussed their...

8 Things To Do Before Giving Up On Your Marriage

8 Things To Do Before Giving Up On Your Marriage

What can you do to rescue your marriage when it’s on the brink of divorce? While this is a complex question that doesn’t lend itself to a quick answer, there are aspects of successful and lasting relationships that can help you get back on track.

How to Identify and Let Go Of a Toxic Relationship

How to Identify and Let Go Of a Toxic Relationship

By Terry Gaspard, LICSW Jenna, 35, sat on the couch in my office and lamented about her toxic relationship with Trevor, 36, her boyfriend for over five years. She described his treatment as condescending and critical, the top two signs of an unhealthy relationship...

When Parents Have Conflict: What About the Kids?

When Parents Have Conflict: What About the Kids?

By Terry Gaspard, LICSW Couples argue. This is a given. And yet some parents escalate to destructive levels of conflict that can be damaging to their kids. In a perfect world parents wouldn’t disagree in front of their children. But in the real world it happens every...