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6 Ways to Let Go of a Grudge Toward Your Ex-Spouse
By Terry Gaspard, LICSW One of the biggest problems with ongoing resentment in post-divorce relationships is that it often leads to withdrawal and poor communication. And if you’re bottling up feelings of anger, sadness, or disappointment often, this can lead to...
What is a Trauma Bond?
By Darlene Lancer, LMFT A trauma bond is an attachment to an abuser in a relationship with a cyclical pattern of abuse. Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., coined the term in 1997. He defined it as an adaptive, dysfunctional attachment occurring in the presence of danger, shame,...
Putting an End to Passive Aggressive Behavior in Your Relationship
By Terry Gaspard, LICSW In many cases, relationships are ruled by the routine interactions that couples have during the course of their lives together. These interchanges can either foster healthy communication and loving feelings, or subvert a couples’ chance at...
How Accepting Influence Can Improve Your Relationship
By Terry Gaspard, LICSW During a recent couples counseling session, Melissa, 48, and Tom, 52, describe the gridlock that they experience when they are unable to compromise. They’ve been remarried for five years and often struggle with influencing each other in a...
Helping Divorced Parents Cope With Conflicting Lifestyles
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC As a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach I continually get asked questions from concerned parents. One of the questions recently sent to me focused on an issue that many divorced parents face with mounting frustration. It had to do with this...
The Codependent False Self
Codependents don’t realize that they’re living from their false self. Because the false self isn’t real, you might feel anxious trying to be accepted by others or believe that they can see through you or are judging you. There’s an immediacy and aliveness in living...
Defensiveness Can Be Harmful to a Marriage
By Terry Gaspard, LICSW During tough conversations, it’s helpful to choose battles wisely and to distinguish between what is and what isn’t worth making an issue about. For instance, Grace, 34, and Hugh, 35, often find themselves arguing about the same things over and...
Conflict Doesn’t Have to Be Destructive, it Can Help You Achieve Lasting Love
Terry Gaspard, LICSW Most of us dislike conflict. Very few people were raised with healthy role models for dealing with differences. But while conflict may appear to be a destructive force in relationships, it can actually help us achieve lasting love. It's crucial to...
Rebuilding Parental Self Esteem After Divorce Takes Its Toll!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know divorce can be devastating on many levels. But sometimes we forget its emotional toll. In addition to the physical and financial stress on both partners, divorce can also wreak havoc on one’s self-esteem. Even those who initiate...
A Fresh Start – Starting Over After a Divorce
There's no set timeframe when it comes to moving on after a divorce. There are days when you'll wake up feeling happy and energized, ready to face the world, and other times, you won't feel like getting out of bed at all. Whatever you need to do to recover is valid as...
