Vulnerability and Intimacy: Interview #2: The Secrets to a Happy Second Marriage

What you are about to hear is an interview of a couple, Paul and Michelle, who have been remarried for less than 5 years and they are raising four children from Michelle’s first marriage.

Successful remarried couples accept that there are inevitable ups and downs in remarried life and they adopt realistic expectations. Love is a wonderful feeling, but you have to make a conscious decision to love your partner every day through actions – such as small gestures and displays of love and affection. In order for a complicated remarriage or stepfamily to thrive, it must be nurtured.

The best way to beat the odds and to see your second marriage succeed is to risk being vulnerable with your partner so you can repair conflicts and making your marriage a priority. Determination, respect, acceptance, patience, and having a good sense of humor can go a long way to improving your chances of success the second time around.

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Vulnerability and Intimacy: Episode 1: Bring Yourself to Love: Achieving Vulnerability and Intimacy in Marriage and Remarriage

My guest today, Mona Barbera, is a psychologist and a Internal Family Systems Therapist who counsels couples. In this interview, she’ll describe “Giving Better Back,” a practical tool couples can use when they are most upset with their partner. Mona explains that when he or she is critical, judgmental, or unreasonable, you can respond with more calm, clarity, and compassion than you are getting and change negative patterns of relating.

In Bring Yourself to Love, Mona says, “As I like to tell my clients, if it’s intense, it’s your own.” She suggests that when you deal with your own internal pain, you won’t be so immersed in it and your partner won’t easily trigger an intense reaction when they do something that hurts or disappoints you.

You can order Dr. Barbera’s powerful book Bring Yourself to Love on Amazon.