Moms – Parenting Yourself Is Essential For Being A Better Divorced Parent

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC

Mother’s Day can be a highly emotional time for a divorced mom.

That’s because divorce is a life-altering experience that takes its toll on your physical, mental and spiritual well-being. Its ramifications not only turn your own world upside down, but can also seriously affect your innocent children – a dire consequence every mother wants to avoid.

Since divorce is a process, often a lengthy one, there are days – yes, weeks and months – when life can seem awfully low. Often overbearing. The weight can seem just too much to carry. The many life changes related to divorce can play a part in these difficult circumstances. And when you’re a parent at the same time … well, you know how it feels!

Then Mother’s Day comes along reminding us of what once was that isn’t the same anymore. It also can trigger fears of what may lie ahead for you and your kids.

Just know, that you’re not alone. Parenting is tough for everyone, even under the best of circumstances. Parenting through and beyond divorce takes enormous focus and a continuous need for compassion, both for yourself and your children. If you take it day by day, you will find the strength and the insight to make decisions that tap into your innate wisdom and love for your children.

But it’s also essential to parent and nurture yourself at the same time. Take a tip from the airlines when they instruct you to put your oxygen mask on first before providing oxygen to your children. You need to be alert and functioning well before you can make decisions on behalf of the children who matter so deeply to you.

So get the help you need to recharge, de-stress and unwind from time to time. Share your frustrations with a caring friend or a compassionate coach or a counselor who specializes in divorce issues. Join a support group for divorced Moms. Reach out to churches or other spiritual resources that empower you. Treat yourself to a massage, concert, evening out, weekend away from the kids or other activity that energizes your psyche.

Don’t suffer or brood alone. We all need help, support and encouragement from an outside source that we respect. We can’t always give it to ourselves – but we can and must let others know when we need a shoulder to cry on, a babysitter for an occasional indulgence or a team of reinforcement when the burden of moving on feels too heavy.

And keep this in mind: Sometimes all you need is to take care of yourself for a day – and you’ll have the clearer perspective you need to make sound decisions on behalf of your children. Whether you’re a divorced co-parent or single parent, remember your first obligation is to parent yourself with loving compassion. Your family will thank you!

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Rosalind Sedacca, CDC is a Certified Divorce & Parenting Coach, founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network and author of How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love! For her free ebook on Post-Divorce Parenting as well as articles, coaching services and other valuable resources on divorce with children, visit: www.childcentereddivorce.com.

Find out more about Rosalind Sedacca’s Divorce Coaching program here.

The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce

Rosalindwrites@gmail.com

Author: How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce?

www.childcentereddivorce.com

www.howdoitellthekids.com

Founder, Child-Centered Divorce Network

Co-Host, Divorce View Talk Show & Podcast

www.DivorceView.com

© Rosalind Sedacca  All rights reserved.

 

 

 



2 Responses to “Moms – Parenting Yourself Is Essential For Being A Better Divorced Parent”

  1. L.J. Burke says:

    I believe it’s very important to have your kids on Mother’s day. It sounds like a no-brainer, right? No matter “who’s” day it is, Mother’s day and Father’s day should be a celebration with your children. When I was going through my divorce, my ex insisted she have the kids on Father’s day because it was “her day.” It was just one thing she did to make me as miserable as possible during my divorce. I hope none of you have to go through this.

    • Terry says:

      Hi L.J.,

      I hope you get to see your kids on Father’s Day this year. It sounds like you love spending time with your kids – good for all of you!
      Regards,
      Terry

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