Divorce is scary, overwhelming, and challenging. People often panic right after their divorce is finalized because they are officially back on the market and back to being a individual instead of part of a couple. I understand that starting a new chapter is highly intimidating and stress inducing. But it doesn’t have to be like this.
The first year after your marriage can be a restorative one. You will be forced to overcome new obstacles, struggles, and emotions. However, these will all be experiences that teach you new lessons, bring you new friends, and open your eyes to new parts of the world. Even though it may seem scary, you will survive it and come out the other side.
If you’re unsure about what you should do after you file your divorce papers, I’ve got you covered. Here are 3 things to get you started.
1: Get Organized
This isn’t the most exciting first step, but it is a necessary one. Now that your divorce is final, it is important that you contact your divorce attorney and get all the paperwork and legal documents involved with it. Properly stow away bank or tax records that you might potentially need later in life.
Aternatively, put all your divorce papers in a place that you can’t see. Don’t put them in a place that you frequent. Looking at the papers could stir up unwanted emotions. You should also put your final divorce decree in a safety deposit box. It is possible that you’ll need these when you apply for health insurance or other benefits. Be sure to keep an electronic copy as well.
2: Find A New Hobby
After your divorce is finalized, it could feel like you suddenly have all the time in the world. Many people feel lonely and restless. Combat this by finding a new hobby to master. Pick something that you’ve been meaning to try and sign up for classes or lessons for it. It can be anything from joining the gym to learning how to crochet a sweater.
Be sure to pick a hobby that you are genuinely interested in. Go in with the intention to learn and do something for yourself. While finding new friends and potentially a new partner is an intriguing thought, this is an activity that should help you flourish and grow as an individual.
3: Travel to See A Friend
We all have friends that we always say we’ll visit but never do. Make the time now to see a good friend and immerse yourself in a new environment. It will be rewarding to spend some time with an old friend. Indulge in good food, fun experiences, and even a nice hotel. Treat yourself!
If you are unable to visit a friend, I highly recommend taking a weekend trip on your own. Traveling offers lessons and experiences that one can’t learn from anything else. You will learn how to love spending time with yourself. You will also get the luxury of eating where you want, doing what you want, and trying what you want. You do not need to take anyone else’s opinions into consideration on this trip.
It is not uncommon to feel unsure of yourself after going through a divorce. However, instead of feeling like you’ve lost a part of yourself or your life, try to remember that you’ve gained a new sense of freedom and independence. Get excited about the new opportunities and adventures that you are going to embark on. Don’t concentrate on the losses, concentrate on the wins. Remember, when one door closes, another one opens.
By Amanda Lin
Amanda Lin is a freelance writer based in San Diego. She enjoys writing about personal relationships, music, technology and more. When she isn’t writing, she is exploring the world and finding new restaurants to try.