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By Terry Gaspard, LICSW In many cases, relationships are ruled by the routine interactions that couples have during the course of their lives together. These interchanges can either foster healthy communication and loving feelings, or subvert a couples’ chance at...
By Darlene Lancer We all need some control to feel safe, but it becomes a problem when we try to control the uncontrollable or other people. When life feels unpredictable, the mind looks for something it can manage. We may try to anticipate what other people will do,...
By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW Let’s be honest, a divorce can shake your foundation and make you question your own judgment. You might find yourself second-guessing yourself because the breakup of a marriage can alter your sense of self, belief about safety and...
By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW Truth be told, red flags usually appear fairly early on in a relationship that can signal eventual disaster if people don’t pay attention to them. Most of the couples I’ve worked with discuss the fact that their relationship problems...
By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW Infidelity is all too common and when it occurs it raises many questions. Should you stay? Can trust be rebuilt? Of all of the real-life stories of women interviewed for my research, Penny’s story best illustrates the searing pain of...
By Terry Gaspard, LICSW The best partner will compliment you and bring out your finer qualities. When you are with him or her, you will begin to see untapped possibilities within yourself and in the world. In any relationship, you will face ups and downs and your love...
By Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT Narcissistic entitlement is the foremost trait people close to a narcissist complain about. Examples are someone who behaves like the normal rules don't apply to them—someone who expects special treatment, reacts with fury to small...
By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW While all couples need autonomy and closeness, many couples struggle with the pursuer-distancer dance and feel chronically dissatisfied with their degree of intimacy. A problem exists when the pattern of pursuing and distancing becomes...
By Craig Gaspard , LICSW I’ll have to admit that when I became a stepfather, the day I married my wife Terry – in May of 1997 –I really had no idea what I was getting into. I was a stepfather (briefly) for three years in my first marriage. But, I was never a father...
By Terry Gaspard, LICSW When people keep secrets from their partner they often rationalize their behavior to themselves and others. Usually, they lack confidence in their ability to confront unpleasant topics – such as money troubles, or issues related to past or...
Daughters of Divorce
Chapter Excerpts
