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Projection is a defense mechanism commonly used by abusers, including people with narcissistic or borderline personality disorder and addicts. Basically, they say, “It’s not me, it’s you!” When we project, we’re defending ourselves against unconscious impulses or...
By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW According to author Gary Chapman, couples will communicate more effectively and feel happier if they gain insight into their primary way of desiring expressions of love. They can also ask their partner to demonstrate love in this fashion....
By Kristin M. Davin, Psy.D. Divorce is a game changer in a child’s life. That we know. It creates significant physical, emotional, financial, and psychological changes. Feelings of loss and separation abound. Sadness and pain of the breakup of their family unit, the...
By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW While it’s admirable to be a caring person, learning to accept and respect myself has helped me to set healthy boundaries and to say “no” without feeling guilty. For instance, I used to take on too much responsibility at work because I...
By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW During counseling sessions couples often ask me some version of this important question: How can we get back on track after a disagreement and build a strong relationship that lasts a lifetime? Typically, I explain that conflict is an...
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC It’s no secret that one of the biggest challenges a parent faces after divorce is staying in good communication with your children. Obviously all parents struggle with communication issues as their children grow, but children who have had...
Think of the Dark Triad of Narcissism, Psychopathy, and Machiavellianism as the Bermuda Triangle – it’s perilous to get near it! The traits of all three often overlap and create personality profiles that are damaging and toxic, especially when it comes to intimate...
By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW Dating after divorce can be exciting, but when you have children it's a risky proposition. Over and over again, I see single mom and single dad clients leap headlong into a new relationship — even move in with someone — only to face a...
I received the text at 11:42pm on a Tuesday. I’d just finished getting laundry folded, and kid prep completed for the morning, when my text tone cut through the quiet. It was just a few words, “My god, it’s his high school girlfriend!” but it flashed me back to my own...
By Terry Gaspard MSW, LICSW Learning how to have productive, low-conflict discussions about money is essential to handling finances in a healthy way. Finances are a touchy subject for all couples and a leading cause of divorce. However, when you get married, your...
Daughters of Divorce
Chapter Excerpts
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